Wednesday, September 08, 2004

A Day in the Life of a Selfish Hedonist

There are no better experts in understanding the life of gay people than the religious right. They talk frequently about the unnaturalness of the "gay lifestyle" and obviously have enough of the answers to feel qualified to prohibit same-sex couples from having equal marriage rights.

Well, what about you? Do you feel you know enough about gay living? For those who don't, I've provided a play by play summary of a day in the hedonistic life of a gay man in Indiana. Send the kids to bed and turn on the nanny filter.

Today--Okay, today doesn't really count. I was sick and doped up on cold medicine. I made a few phone calls to people at church and slept. John cooked me a nice Italian sausage pasta dinner and brought me ice cream in bed. I'm not one of those "lost my appetite" kind of sick people, but I am a "can't cook when I'm sick" person . We talked about a rash that looks like poison ivy on his arm and a new idea for a more convenient kind of grocery store (you order and pay on-line, and then drive through and have your groceries loaded into your car). We discussed vacation schedules and the dates of our upcoming foster parent classes.

Yesterday--And here is where it gets kind of crazy.

6:45 a.m. John brings me coffee and the morning paper in bed to wake me up. No kidding. Now some of you straight guys out there are thinking of converting, aren't you? Well, contrary to what most ex-gay ministries would tell you, chances are you couldn't even if you tried. Anyway, John's taken, so forget about it.

7:00 a.m. Read paper, on-line journals, and check e-mail. John leaves for work.

7:45 a.m. Eat breakfast--these days, almond butter on toast. I typically use four pieces of bread. I burn the first two because I forget they are in the toaster oven when I get engrossed in the paper. I'm more attentive with the second two, plus I've had more coffee.

8:30 a.m. Clean the breakfast dishes and sweep the floor. Four pieces of toast and sleepy hands make for a lot of crumbs.

8:50 a.m. Write.

10:00 a.m. Head to church to help my friend Duane paint the 2nd floor of our building so that it looks like a beach. We are launching a new childrens' program that has a beach theme and a long hallway is the project for today.

1:30 p.m. Duane takes off for Taco Bell to get lunch for us and his two kids who are hanging out with us while we paint.

3:30 p.m. I run to the convenience store to get us some Diet Cokes. I buy Twinkies while I'm there. I make sure I eat them in the car before I get back to the church to avoid Duane's reprimands about eating junk food. I don't know what I'm worried about, since he was the one who bought us Taco Bell. Duane's partner Todd stops by on his way home from work to pick up the kids.

9:30 p.m. Call John, who has already been in bed for 30 minutes, to let him know I'll be late. We've roped in another friend, De'Amon, to help us. We'll finish the entire hallway tonight if we all stay.

10:45 p.m. We finish painting and spend a few minutes admiring our work and discussing how we hope the kids in our church will like it. I head home.

11:15 p.m. Eat some leftover potato salad and and then climb into bed. Snuggle for awhile with John, who is sound asleep, and doze off.

I don't know about you, but to me what is most shocking about this day are my food choices. Did I really eat Twinkies? I must have been feeling pretty stressed about getting these paintings done on time.


Blogger closetliberalintx said...

Love the postings. Now I have one more site to check regularly. I can't believe John brings you the paper. You have trained him well. The content and humor will strike a cord with many and hopefully open a few more minds. Please keep writing.

6:32 PM  
Blogger Troy said...

You got it. See the 9/16 posting. And I really had nothing to do with John bringing me coffee. I think it is more a factor of him limiting my actions before morning caffeine.

10:57 PM  

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