Saturday, July 30, 2005

How to De-gay Folks

Ex-gay Watch has two recent postings that give people who are inexperienced in ex-gay logic some insight. Both are hilarous and sad in different ways.

The Daily Show's Samantha Bea talks about the "gayification" of NASCAR with an ex-gay man. Click here for the video. Worth the short wait.

On a more serious note, Eartha Melzer of The Houston Voice was allowed to attend an Exodus ex-gay convention (as long as she was accompanied by an Exodus representative). The following is an excerpt from a session titled 'Making Your Marriage Work.'

‘Making Your Marriage Work’
Mike suggested attending a workshop on “Making Your Marriage Work.”

Frank Worthen, an Exodus founder, and his wife, Anita, offered tips on how the ex-gay male can marry a woman and meet the expectations of family and friends. They addressed a classroom packed with about 60 people, about half with what appeared to be their spouses.

“Men are ready for marriage when their desire to be protected becomes a desire to protect,” Frank Worthen said. “A man should also have three years of celibacy,” he added, “and have been free of pornography and masturbation for some time.”

They were many questions.

A middle-aged man with a crew-cut wanted to know he needs to be “free of masturbation.” He was seated next to a woman.

Frank Worthen asked the crowd, “What should be done if a man begins to have same-sex fantasies while making love to his wife?”

A man in the audience said he and his wife pray whenever they make love.

Anita Worthen told the crowd that married couples are responsible for keeping one another sexually satisfied, and that this can present special challenges in a relationship with an ex-gay partner. A wife needs to be prepared to offer extra help so that her husband can have an erection, she said. Also, she said some men do not enjoy the feel of a woman’s skin.

“How can this be overcome?” I asked.

Frank Worthen said men need to become “hard and masculine” in order to be able to enjoy the soft, mushy feel of a woman. To become firmer, it is OK for a man to work out a little bit, he said, just not too much.

He also said that many wives wonder whether their ex-gay husbands will expect them to engage in the “unnatural” sex practices to which they imagine their husbands have become accustomed. Not so, Frank said, and he recommended that couples avoid oral sex, which could stimulate gay fantasies.

The Worthens said physical intimacy should proceed slowly, and it is best to wait until marriage to experiment with deep kissing. There should be no commitment to sexual performance on the wedding night, they said, and some prudent couples wait a year after marriage before even attempting sexual intercourse.

Frank Worthen also warned the crowd that gay friends are a one-way ticket back to “the lifestyle.”

His wife said wives should be prepared to submit to their husbands’ plans. Her husband instructed audience members to practice communication: Be a good listener, put down the paper, he said, make eye contact, and pretend you care.

Talk about unnatural. I feel sorry for women who are internalizing the lack of desire their husbands have for them while constantly being expected to provide "extra help" (Let's see, which one tonitght, the French maid oufit or the Miss Jane Hathaway costume?) to make up for it. This certainly brings a new dimension, however, to the notion of "wives submit to your husbands."


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